Dear anonymous “link builder”:
No. You can’t guest blog on our site:
Because you don’t know anything about me – and your note proved that.
Because you addressed your request to our ‘info@’ address – instead of to a human.
Because you aren’t really a blogger at all – admit it, you’re a battery-farmed SEO hack sitting in a low-wage country pretending your name is Paul.
Because the company you represent has nothing to do with the company I represent – and our readers may find it strange to find a post about weight loss or plumbing supplies on a B2B CONTENT MARKETING BLOG (the clue is hidden in the title).
Because if I were stupid enough to give you a link, I would be penalised – and the God Google would throw its thunderbolts on me (they hurt).
Because if I were stupid enough to give you a link, I would be embarrassed – and couldn’t show my face in the Really Smart Content Marketers LinkedIn group.
Because even though I ignored your first approach, you chased me as if I was the unprofessional one– and that turned annoyance into just enough fury to write this post.
Because you are lazy – and think you can spam your way to a good page rank instead of earning it.
Because you are insulting – assuming other people are like you (or your employer).
Because you are lying – and misrepresenting your motives.
Because you are cheating – trying to out-think a company that spends $9.7 billion a year learning to detect and punish crappy SEO tricks like high-volume ‘link-building’.
Because I just don’t like you – I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a pheromone thing.
A note to every other legitimate blogger out there who works hard to build an audience:
Next time you get a request to write a guest blog on your site from someone you don’t know and isn’t even in your market, feel free to send them a link to this post.
———-
Image from acidcow.com
Executive Creative Director
Doug is a displaced Yank who started his career at Ogilvy & Mather, New York.
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Comments
Graham Charlton May 16th, 2013
Getting lots of these requests? Me too.
Ryan Skinner May 16th, 2013
And to those who leave comments like these:
“Amazing, great blog site format! How prolonged do you think you’re writing a blog regarding? you will be making blogging view simple. The complete appear of your respective web page is excellent, because perfectly because content!”
Thanks for that, Barkley Foamposites! And:
“by Kami Bigler posted in Life Home Mother’s Day is tomorrow! Chances are, if. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional.”
What an insightful comment, Poopsyday (is that your real name, I wonder?)
We will relentlessly delete all your crap, and we will wish a pox on your digital karma forever.
Because there is no suck greater than comment spam suck.
Dave Colgate May 17th, 2013
Epic post, bookmarked for future reference.
Melissa Curran May 17th, 2013
I am bookmarking this as well. Can you imagine what could happen if these idiots channeled all that energy into doing something good in the world? I am inundated with this junk and it makes me crazy!
Toyiah Marquis May 17th, 2013
Funny, I just got an email asking for a guest post and the funniest part of it all was: “The best part is I won’t be charging you a penny, but in return all I need is just one link within the article. Looking forward for a positive reply.”
Rachel May 17th, 2013
My favorites are the ones you have to translate to even know what they’re asking for.
@Ryan lol I’ve been getting a lot of those lately.
Liz Hardy June 7th, 2013
LOVE THIS! And totally agree about the spam comments too – the bane of my professional life!!
Jonathan Jones July 2nd, 2013
“Next time you get a request to write a guest blog on your site from someone you don’t know and isn’t even in your market, feel free to send them a link to this post.”
While I agree with the premise of your arguments, this last sentence is a little ironic and a bit cheap.
Doug Kessler July 3rd, 2013
Thanks all for the kind notes.
@Jonathan — I guess that kind of does look like a linkbait line!
(I promise it isn’t intended that way — I’m not suggesting people post the link anywhere — just email it to ffenders!).
Thanks for pointing it out.
Geoff Jackson October 1st, 2013
I wouldn’t recommend replying to these requests to send them a link to here as that will just confirm there is a human at the end of generic email address picking up catch alls. Then you’re address will just get passed down their 1500 partners and you’ll be hammered every day with similar requests.
Disappointingly, some of the more well known and ‘reputable’ agencies even outsource this kind of guest blogging ‘out reach’. Disgrace on the industry.
Doug Kessler October 1st, 2013
Good point, Geoff. You don’t want to let them know they’ve reached a human.
Legitimate outreach should look dramatically different from these types — as long as they don’t suffer from any of the same underlying assumptions.
Jeremy Taylor December 12th, 2013
Brilliant. I’ll be directing a few people this way from now on.
I had one the other day who at least took the effort to send me some links to examples of his other work – the only problem was that his other work had absolutely nothing to do with the topic of our blog!
Doug Kessler December 12th, 2013
Thanks Jeremy.
I know!!!!
I just got one today with content about Frequent Flyer programs.
Edoy Lelarry December 19th, 2013
Woow . . . Now 1 can guest blog on this site. Thanxs Jeremy !
“Next time you get a request to write a guest blog on your site from someone you don’t know and isn’t even in your market, feel free to send them a link to this post. ”
Awesome . . . I agree about it . . .
Marty Rogers February 14th, 2014
Posts such as this one make me smile.
I can imagine the person(s) sitting at their computer and reading this with tears streaming down their face whilst wrapped in a blanket of embarrassment. Serves them right, though.
Thanks for the chuckle Doug – hopefully these baboons will get the message soon (probably not).