So come on you marketing geniuses: Let’s turn our craft on ourselves and re-brand this sucker. Let’s get rid of that goddamn 2 that’s spoiling everything bright and beautiful about our noble profession.
Any suggestions?Pause for some research:
Weirdly, the God Google tells us that Business-to-Business returns many times more results than B2B:- B2B – 309,000,000 results
- Business-to-Business – 5,490,000,000 results (Holy Moly)
- B2B Marketing – 27,500,000 results
- Business-to-Business Marketing – 1,090,000,000 results (Homina-homina)
Hamlet’s Soliloquy with every ‘to’ replaced by the number 2:
2 be, or not 2 be, that is the question: Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind 2 suffer The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune, Or 2 take Arms against a Sea of troubles, And by opposing end them: 2 die, 2 sleep No more; and by a sleep, 2 say we end The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks That Flesh is heir 2? ‘Tis a consummation Devoutly 2 be wished. 2 die, 2 sleep, 2 sleep, perchance 2 Dream; Aye, there’s the rub, For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause. There’s the respect That makes Calamity of so long life: For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time, The Oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s Contumely, The pangs of despised Love, the Law’s delay, The insolence of Office, and the Spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his Quietus make With a bare Bodkin? Who would Fardels bear, 2 grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn No Traveller returns, Puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have, Than fly 2 others that we know not of. Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all, And thus the Native hue of Resolution Is sicklied o’er, with the pale cast of Thought, And enterprises of great pitch and moment, With this regard their Currents turn awry, And lose the name of Action. Soft you now, The fair Ophelia? Nymph, in thy Orisons Be all my sins remembered.” (Wow. even this shameful act of literary graffiti can’t spoil some kick-ass writing).Next time I go to confession (also, incidentally, my first time), I will have three added things to confess:
- I regularly use the term ‘B2B’ which includes the number 2 in place of the word ‘to’.
- I referred to William Shakespeare’s talent as ‘kick-ass’. In public.
- I didn’t just write this ridiculous act of free association, I hit ‘Publish’.
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Comments
Luella September 26th, 2013
I want what pills you’re taking, Doug. I think the term is unnecessary anyway. People decide to buy things, not companies. Sadly, I just realised that I used to hate the expression b2b too, and since I started working IN it, I’ve become immune and don’t even notice it. Ugh!
Doug Kessler September 26th, 2013
Exactly — I’ve become immune to it, too.
But every once in a while — like when I’m talking to a ‘civilian’ – I realise how embarrassing it is to use a term like B2B. Actually I don’t mind saying it — it’s just writing it that sucks…
Richard Willingham September 27th, 2013
To misquote Bill Clinton: ‘it’s the brand, stupid’. B2B is the brand. It is how nearly everyone, except maybe you Doug, instantly recognizes us. It does’t have to have a literal meaning. Apple doesn’t market fruit, does it?
Doug Kessler September 27th, 2013
True, Richard. I just don’t LIKE it.
It does have a literal meaning. An accurate one.
But it uses a 2 instead of the word ‘to’.
And I H8 that.
Paul Everett September 27th, 2013
This isn’t the answer you’re looking for, but I heard the first argument the other day that managed to convince me we might be better off ditching marketing full stop and creating combined strategy/marketing/sales (starkles?) teams. Imagine if those three teams actually worked as one!
Doug Kessler September 27th, 2013
Paul
You’re right: that isn’t the answer I’m looking for.
But it IS interesting. And that’s even better.
Simon September 30th, 2013
I have to disagree with you, Doug. B2B’s fine in my book. if nothing else, it’s better than the only really viable alternative, which of course is BTB. Blurg. Dull, or what?
I know what you mean about trying to explain B2B to a civilian, and I believe I have a solution for you. Don’t even try. When someone outside the B2B marketing ‘space’ (ugh) asks what you do for a living, fib. Tell them you’re a stockbroker. Or a farmer. Or a documentary filmmaker. These require no explanation, and you can find yourself having some interesting and unexpected conversations. You can try a new job every day if you like, or focus on one job and hone your knowledge to become more convincing over time. It’s a great hobby.
And you might stop worrying so much about that 2. Just sayin.
Doug Kessler September 30th, 2013
Yeah, maybe you’re right, Simon.
I’ve lived with that ‘2’ for a few decades. Might as well admit it’s here to stay.
Love the idea of lying to civilians, though. Think I’ll be a fireman. No, someone might ask me about fire safety… A pole vaulter. Yeah. I do pole vaulting. P2V.
Chaz Daum September 30th, 2013
The 2 does seem juvenile, and I do try to avoid getting all jargon-ey in conversation. If I can avoid using the phrase B2B, I am considerably less embarrassed. What I would argue though is that it should be BWB. Business-With-Business. I can’t say it would have the SEO clout that “Business-to-Business” has, but I would like to argue that it better portrays the relationship aspect of B2B (yep, I did it). I think there needs to be greater emphasis on relationship/partnership development in B2B and with that in mind, I think BWB would be much better, extra syllables and all. Wbe, or not Wbe, that is the REAL question.
Doug Kessler October 1st, 2013
Thanks Chaz.
Not buying BWB but, hey, if it takes off, I’ll dump B2B and hop on board in a New York minute (30% shorter than other minutes).
Jeff Ogden November 22nd, 2014
Another great post by one of my favorite marketing leaders, Doug Kessler. Well don, Doug,